honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
