If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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