Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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