The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
