then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
