Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
