I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
