I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
