I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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