If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
