It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
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