This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
