just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
