As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
