Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
