idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
