we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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