I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
