I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
