oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
this hospital has no fireball
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
