That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
