this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
She tied me up with her honor cords...
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
She told me I should be a condom model.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Someone shattered a urinal.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
