I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Randomize
