These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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