Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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