she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Randomize
