his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
