PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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