She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
