Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
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