The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize