are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
