her vagine was all disorganized.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize