I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize