So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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