have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
