I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
