we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
