I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Randomize
