id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
