Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
