I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
