Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
