Well apparently he's into motor boating.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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