I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
