she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
