i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
My breath smells like gin and sadness
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
