Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
