My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
