there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
the day after is always just damage control
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
