Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
