and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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