I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
