I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
