Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
