I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
