I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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