she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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