I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The cops high fived after they tackled you
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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