ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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