There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
