Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize