We named our party play list daddy issues
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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